I'm Not Dead

I'm not dead, at least not yet, I don't think...

Life is evolving, my time is slipping out through fingers the tighter I grab and slowly I am learning how to breath. Breathing in and exhaling. Believing in everything I don't understand.

Song lyrics are evolving, routine is slipping from my schedule and slowly I am learning to love myself. To love those that deserve to be loved and forgive those who probably don't.

My friend assures me its all or nothing
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me for one time only,
Make an exception.
I am not not worried
Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned
With the status of my emotions
Oh, she says, were changing.
But were always changing
It does not bother me to say this isn't love
Because if you don't want to talk about it
then it isn't love
And I guess I'm going to have to live that
But, Im sure there's something in a shade of gray
Or something in between
And I can always change my name
if that's what you mean
My friend assures me its all or nothing
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell your self the things you try tell yourself to make
Yourself forget
To make your self forget
I am not worried
If its love she said,
then were gonna have to think about the
Consequences
She cant stop shaking and I can't stop touching her and.....
This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind
These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering
For days she says.
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing
But I'm not gonna break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
I'm not gonna bend. and I'm not gonna break and
I'm not gonna worry about it anymore
It seems like I should say as long as this is love...
But its not all that easy so maybe I should just
Snap her up in a butterfly net
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
I've done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...
The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and Anna begins change my mind
And every time she sneezes I believe its love
And oh lord.... I'm not ready for this sort of thing
She's talking in her sleep-it s keeping me awake
And Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand it and
Oh lord. I m not ready for this sort of thing
Her kindness bangs a gong
Its moving me along and Anna begins to fade away
It's chasing me away.
she disappears,
and oh lord I'm not ready for this sort of thing
-Counting Crows